The Lone Ranger

I wonder if this person hums the William Tell Overture to themselves as their theme song while driving.

I sure as hell would.

Umm... What?

This person... 

I have no words. 

Really.

They strapped an air mattress to the top of their car, and drove it somewhere like that.

Looks fine here, because I couldn't get a photo of them driving, they were stopped here.

When they were driving THE MATTRESS LOOKED LIKE A SAIL!!!!!!!!

It looked like the ties were struggling to keep it on top of the car.

And, sometimes, we're limited, I get it. I once drove from college park to Frostburg with a bed frame on top of my Chevy Cobalt because it didn't fit in my car. 

BUT WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST DEFLATE IT?!??!!!?!??!?

Jurassic World

RAWR

Creeper

I kind of feel like if I owned the merchandise being carried by this truck, I wouldn't like that it says creepin' while you're sleepin... This is a bit awkward.

People really hate the beltway, man.

Here's another TOTALLY AWESOME AND TRUE Capitol Beltway Plate.

Pi

This person is the best, and I would like to buy a Mazda 3 for this very purpose.

Truck

F*CK YOUR SNOW BANK. I DRIVE A TRUCK.

All Pants

All Pants, All the time.

Great Advice

Here's a pretty neat piece on Road Rage! 

"Defensive driving instructor Danny Preston says the best way to avoid conflict on the road is to execute long-term psychological torment on aggressive drivers"

http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-channel-your-road-rage-into-cold-calculatin,37879/

'Murica

This is not a pipe.

Well those are some interesting looking watermelons. 

Like A G6

I very much enjoyed this plate.

It was a G6 named GeeSix! I just really wanted to imagine that this person walked around life with this as their theme song

Pass the Relish: This Is How We All Feel

This driver managed to express how we all feel while driving in DC.

I imagine that as the zombie noise!

Thanks Haylee!

Oh, The Suspense!

So, I followed this truck for quite some time.

IT DROVE ME NUTS!

THIS TRUCK IS WHAT??!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Pass the Relish: Muggle Life

This person isn't embarrassed to have no magical powers. Just happy to be part of the world. :-)

Pass The Relish: Thoughts on Obama

This one is from my sister Kristin.

"I don't know what a dog squeeze is, but apparently Obama is one lol."

So... I didn't know what Dog Squeeze was either, and I still don't think it's a thing, but according to Urban Dictionary, it's basically the poop that leaks out of small dogs if you squeeze them a little too hard when you pick them up. In so many words... it was Urban Dictionary, of course.

The (Not So) Simple Life

I really enjoy this one.

Hopefully this doesn't come off as mean spirited as it sounds now, but I just couldn't get over it - Living the simple life in a vehicle that costs more than I make in a year that gets 17 miles a gallon. We must have different definitions of "simple".

Domino's Gives You Wings

This one made me laugh SO hard. I know it's really grainy, but it was good enough to me that I thought I would share it anyway.

I thought it was Red Bull that gives you wings! Not Domino's! Or maybe it looks like a shark with the fin on top.

Sobriety Checkpoint...?

I got this one from a coworker who wishes to remain anonymous.

We were wondering if this was the work of a prankster who hacked into the display, or if it was a legitimate typo from the transit authority (or whomever programs these signs). Based on the odd punctuation, I'm going to assume 'prankster' but it's still funny either way.

Pass The Relish: Do you think they mean the car?

This one says Favorite Toy

But my question is: Which one is the favorite toy? The car, or the thing hanging off the bumper?

Bonus: The SLOW AS F*CK is a second-look laugh.
Thanks Beth!